The Bishop's Weekly Column from the Parish Bulletin

OUR LADY OF FATIMA

CATHOLIC CHURCH

The Neural Neutralizer

December 15th, 2007

The fearsome machine in question !
(Is there one in Rome and/or every Novus Ordo Church ?)

Rome

In conversation with a priest friend not so long ago we were discussing the sudden about face of so many Trads who submit to Rome. We were speaking with specific reference to the Institute of the Good Shepherd who, regularized just over a year ago. The clergy of this group were almost all of them former members of the Society of St. Pius X. I have written about this group in several columns here and here.

The superior of the group Fr. Philippe Laguérie was a fire-brand of the toughest kind when still a member of the SSPX. Since his regularization, he has advocated some very strange positions indeed. His confrere Fr. Guillaume de Tanouärn recently stated that anyone who questioned the legitimacy of the New Mass was a heretic. This of course begs the question why doesn't he offer it then ?

How does one account for such a change of theology ? I was reminded of the neural neutralizer from the original Star Trek episode "Dagger of the Mind" (aired in 1966). In that episode, a routine visit by the Enterprise to the Tantalus Penal Colony results in an encounter with the neural neutralizer, an experimental therapy device. The device actually blanks out the mind, allowing therapist to implant positive suggestions. Of course, as a machine, it allows for total mind control.

I humorously suggested in the conversation with the afore-mentioned priest that perhaps in Rome there exists a device of this kind that re-cycles a Trad mind into the greatest advocate for the reforms of the post-VII era. How else can we account for such strange u-turns ?

The local parish

A few days ago a parishioner called me and told me his wife had heard that at a local parish a priest who appears frequently on EWTN would be speaking that evening on Tradition in the Church. That was definitely news to me ! I arranged to go with him. Later it dawned on me that another parishioner had given me a copy of that church's bulletin for this week by a friend in an effort to get him to go and hear the speaker that had been invited to the church to preach a mission. "Surely there will be some info on this in the bulletin." I thought. I retrieved the sheet in question and lo and behold there was an item on the mission. The priest was described as being a member of the "charismatic movement" since 1975. My hair almost stood on end ! There was no way this fellow could be speaking about Tradition as I understand it. I called my parishioner back and said I didn't want to go after all. When I explained it to him he decided he didn't want to go either. Later, as I was walking around the park for exercise after dinner, I recalled that the man who had given me the bulletin had been told by his friend that the priest was such a good speaker that he had been given a "standing ovation" by the people.

All of a sudden I recalled a conversation with a lady parishioner who had attended Mass at that church on December 8th (the Immaculate Conception) only because of a scheduling conflict in her private life. She recounted to me all the horrific abuses she had witnessed and especially the sermon which was preached by this same priest. With jokes galore he had them "rolling in the aisles". She, however, was scandalized. She said she wanted to walk out but didn't.

When all of this came to my mind, walking around the park, my curiosity was piqued. I changed my mind and decided to go after all. When I arrived at the church it was one third full and about 10 minutes to go before the "Bible study" was scheduled to begin. Father was in the vestibule wearing an alb and cracking jokes a mile-a-minute. He asked if everybody had brought their oil and water (which he would later bless) good grief new age "sacramentals" !

After several minutes of stand-up comedy he began a study of one of the chapters of "Revelations". This always annoys me ! The Apocalypse of St. John is subtitled The Revelation (SINGULAR NOT PLURAL) of St. John the Divine. Things were not off to a good start by any means ! I sat for an hour in utter disbelief as he spent 45 minutes fooling around telling terrible jokes, singing songs, making sound effects and 15 minutes (if that) saying anything that remotely sounded like a Bible study. At one point he made reference to the fact that Catholics should be doing Bible study and in a Catholic church not at the Assembly of God and that "They should be doing it with us also!" he said. "Amen ?" he asked "Amen !" the chorus of voices went up. I was particularly incensed by this remark. After 55 minutes of terrible jokes and poor scriptural exegesis I was beginning to think a Baptist Bible study would be conducted with much more reverence than this act which would have played better on the Las Vegas casino strip. Around this point I looked over my shoulder at the clock it was 7.30 pm. I had been sitting there for an hour and ten minutes. The only reason I had stayed so long was because he had mentioned at one point that he thought Antichrist was coming soon and he would give his reasons why. That had been 15 minutes earlier.

By now people were pouring in, you see the schedule said a "penance service" was supposed to begin at 7.30. He was still droning on and still no end in sight. Thankfully a group of people asked to be let into the pew. I stood up, exited the pew and headed for the doors. The priest noticed I was leaving and suddenly said that he needed to finish the study - too late...I was definitely out of there !

On my way out I picked up my "consolation prize" which you can read here (definitely not for the faint-hearted !).

In retrospect I wondered why my fellow Catholics were bamboozled by all this nonsense. Then I thought perhaps the market for neural neutralizers was bigger than I expected, perhaps every Novus Ordo church was fitted with one !

In the Star Trek episode those who resist the effect of the neural neutralizer suffer great mental anguish, far better not to resist. The face of Simon Van Gelder (a character from the episode) below is an example of what happens when you resist the effects of the neutralizer. No wonder I had suffered so much as well !

+TF