The Bishop's Weekly Column from the Parish Bulletin

OUR LADY OF FATIMA

CATHOLIC CHURCH

"By a set of curious chances..." Part Two.

November 21st, 2009

A "Basket case" by now ?

In my last entry I left you in the London hotel deciding to return to the United States being penniless (which for the sake of one reader has absolutely nothing at all to do with "Penny Lane" which is an "in-house" joke between him and myself). Fortunately I had brought all the paperwork necessary to begin to extricate myself from the mess in which I found myself. I had a telephone number in the US which I could call to change my flight plans.

Then I spied the telephone and the notice that international calls would be charged at £3.50 ($5.77) a minute ! Well I had to try... After a great deal of trouble I finally managed to speak with a representative who, judging by his accent, was located in India ! Increasingly in the United States companies are out-sourcing customer care phone numbers to India or the Philippines because it saves money paying the workers in these countries rather than someone in the US. That was precisely what happened to me; I called the US from the UK but I was talking to some fellow in India for $5.77 a minute ! At one point the fellow asked if he could put me on hold for 3 minutes !!!!

His first suggestion was a return flight that was scheduled to leave London at 12.35pm - I looked at the clock on the TV in the room. It read 12.15pm. Aghast, I tried to explain that though I was right by the airport there was no way I could drive back to the rental agency and catch a flight due to take off in 20 minutes !

His next suggestion had me traveling to Newark, New Jersey, changing airports to New York's, La Guardia and on to Tampa. That was definitely not an option. His final suggestion was a flight to Logan International in Boston, a lay-over of 10 hours with a connecting flight to Miami and then a change of planes for Tampa. Clutching at straws I took it. Next came the problem of confirmation codes which I would need to access my reservation at the airport. In accordance with Murphy's Law (If anything can go wrong, it will, at the worst possible moment) I didn't have a pen. "That's okay," he cheerfully assured me, "You can call back later." At $5.77 a minute, that wasn't going to happen ! With a key I etched the confirmation code into the boarding pass I had used to cross the Atlantic just hours before. I thanked the fellow and finally hung up after about half an hour on the phone. I was almost a mental wreck ! I gathered my things quickly and exited the room. I was scheduled for a flight leaving at 5.55pm on American Airlines an highly appropriate choice (I wanted to go home to the US) ! In entering the corridor I encountered a maid - whose accent betrayed her nationality: Polish. ("Don't English girls want jobs anymore ?" I wondered.)

I exited the hotel, (where, ironically, I am still officially registered as I write this piece) entered the car and drove back to the rental agency. I dropped the car off (after about 2 hours on the road) and spoke, this time, to a clerk of uncertain nationality, whose English was completely unintelligible except for the fact that he indicated the bus I needed to access to return to the terminal. I had arrived by Terminal 1 and I was leaving by Terminal 3. I boarded the bus and waited for the driver to leave. I was in no rush now. Mulling over the catastrophe that had occurred - as related in this column - I tried to spiritualize the whole affair: "Satan was undoubtedly behind the whole fiasco," I thought. I was convinced of this. I looked up and noticed the sign that indicated my driver's name; it read: "Satnam" - you can decode the anagram if you will....

+TF